Ambulance ready to roll out
Waiting in the ambulance for too long. Mazlan drawing emergency medication for the journey at the famasi
Prayer before leaving
Dosing on and off
Note the drips still attached. A happy father.
Mazlan SMSed me close to midnight last night. IB akan pindah keHKT pagi esok pulkul 8. Thanks to everybody for their help. What ? Something is definitely wrong. We have already firmed up that Ibrahim was to undergo palliative treatments in HUKM until he is stronger. No balik rumah tunggu masa.
I immediately called Mazlan to find out what happened. He could not explain coherently, but I summarized that Ibrahim was not doing very well earlier in the day. Mazlan was called up from his office and the doctors had explained to him that they had exhausted every treatment. There is nothing more HUKM can do. He was advised that Ibrahim should be brought back to his kampung. He could be transferred to HKT the next morning by ambulance. Ibrahim’s condition had worsen, all critical readings were very bad. White blood cells read 147, placelets 9. Blood transfusions did not stabilize him any more. He was in great pain, as he had maxed out his morphine dosage. New pain started in his stomach, he was throwing everything fed in from his nose. Ibrahim was visibly very uneasy and short of breath.
I told Mazlan to be steady, myself not so. Jangan Panik I said. It is alright ,semua ini biasa. I wished it was so. My heartbeat must have maxed out too. I told Mazlan that I could not come to the hospital immediately but will be there the next morning. I was coughing badly. Mazlan was to be close to Ibrahim, be there for him. Everything will be alright. Ibrahim was wired up with all monitoring machines tagged to his toe, finger and chest. Should the graph go horizontally, the will be a long beep. Nurses were only 20 steps away and they visit his bed every half hour.
My mind was racing, my heart was beating off beats. God, not now. Not Ibrahim. “Breathe Ibrahim, breathe”, I shouted in my mind. An order to myself, as I often shout “breathe Allen breathe” when struggling uphill in my runs. I know that’s all Ibrahim needs to do, breathe. He can go into a coma next as great pain causes body shocks easily. Never mind, but breathe. I’ll be with you tomorrow morning. Just hold on. Agi Idup Agi Ngelaban. (If there is life there is still fight)
I did not wake up the next morning, because I never went to sleep. Why the “sudden transfer” was in my mind the whole night. My coughing did not help either. Very illogical. Every patient from other states wants to be transferred to KL hospitals, not the other way round. Maybe the only reason I can guess is HUKM don’t want to have bad statistics in its wads. HUKM will not push Ibrahim around.
I was at HUKM first light and met a dazed Mazlan next to Ibrahim, who did not look all that bad. My mind was very corrupted with Ibrahim in a bad shape for the whole of last night. He was OK, smiled weakly and mumbled something. I didn’t have care for anything, Ibrahim survived the night. We high-fived and Ibrahim did his usual deep breathing drills each time we met. I dug into my haversack pack and took out my iPAD for Ibrahim to play with the games that I had downloaded for him. He was in seven heaven driving a brand new Merz AMG. He had forgotten his pain and ordeal. I was very relieved. God had answered our prayers.
I pulled Mazlan one side. OK Tell me what happened ? He had said that he had signed all papers for the transfer to HKT and he did not know what he was thinking or doing. Saya semuanya anggup sahaja. Mazlan was certainly more in a worser shape than his son. Never mind we’ll go through with the doctors again when they come around. Mazlan started to shake. I don’t blame him for his feelings, as he knows what the transfer had meant. Any father won’t think straight. Parents and Caregivers often breakdown as well.
I wanted to tell Mazlan a true story that came to my mind. But did not. Instead, I said “Mazlan, I had prayed to God, if God wants to take Ibrahim, please take me instead. I am old and Ibrahim is young and has a long life to live ahead.” I know in my heart, God would not agree to my plea, for He would want me to help Ibrahim. He knows I will, so He won’t take me away. Mazlan felt very much better after that.
The doctors came around. I introduced myself and requested for the rationale for Ibrahim’s transfer. The doctor replied politely that it was parental wish, and it was traditionally the requirement for patients to go home to their kampungs to be with their families and kampong community. The essence of my case was always what was good for Ibrahim’s survival, not what was good for the family’s societal requirements. The doctor had also emphasized that it was also a religious requirement. I cannot fight two very important decisions. The Muslim requirement and the family’s requirement. I turned to Mazlan and asked him in front of the doctor if he understands and he had requested for the transfer? He was affirmative. Done. Ibrahim will be transferred to HKT. I then checked all preparations were in order, that Ibrahim would be able to withstand the long 7 hours journey, that the ambulance had all the necessary CPR equipment. Mazlan and two medical personnel would accompany him in the ambulance. Ibrahim’s data on his vital organs were surprisingly fairly stable. Best was a very strong blood pressure reading. Ibrahim had even grumbled that he wanted to balik kampung in a bus. That his Nintendo needed a new charger, that he wanted wanted new games to play. My iPAD must have influenced him, for that was the very purpose I had brought it along. When Ibrahim grumbled, I knew it was a good sign for him. He is alive. We promised him everything he wanted. His eves lighted up when I hinted Hari Raya was round the corner. He will soon get new baju melayu and a big duit raya packet. Which kampung boy wouldn’t respond like Ibrahim?
All done, they rolled out at 9 am and we had ta pau food and drinks from the canteen. I also gave RM200.00 petty cash to Mazlan for the long journey. We prayed for safe journey.
Ibrahim checked in HKT at 4 pm at wad 5DC. Agi Idup Agi Ngelaban.
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